Brother

  He had buried all of these secrets (which is a normal coping mechanism for someone who has endured such abuse) and they just recently in the last year and a half started coming out.  He has been in a mental hospital multiple times.  He suffers with self esteem, anxiety, and depression.  He has socially withdrawn.  His mentality is that of a 13-14 year old male, so he is extremely immature for his age.  He lies and has been in trouble for stealing multiple times.  He is stuck in this rut of what happened to him, and cant seem to get out.  The problem with that is, is its not something we can make him do.  Until you WANT to get help and move on in your life, nobody can make you.   And until you want to, therapy isn't going to be effective, if you aren't there for yourself!
  I struggle with the line of being a sister and now feeling like somewhat of a mother to my brother.  He no longer associates with my mom, which I don't blame him for.  He likes to use being the victim to skate through any issues that arise.  Which I totally get, but you cant just assume the role as victim for your whole life.  You have to choose that from this moment on, I no longer choose to be a victim.  I know what I went through is nothing comparable to what he has endured, but in my honest opinion, he is capable of so much more than he is showing now.  Yes he will suffer with depression and anxiety, probably for life, but its no excuse for laziness, no drive, lying or stealing.  I want to motivate and empower him, but he also still needs that discipline and push to succeed.  Its a fine line between empathy and enabling.
  He lives in Missouri now, and is being helped taken care of by a family who has been there for him so much in the last year and a half.  He got his GED finally last year, and just got a job for the summer.  I'm hoping he uses this to take the first steps in the direction of healing.  I also have strongly pushed the therapy issue.  He will need therapy for quite a while, if not for life.  I know its scary for him to deal with, and its going to get harder before it gets better, I just wish that he could see, what I see in him!  He is capable of so much more!
  Can you imagine living your life on a daily basis with the thoughts and memories he has to see?  With the things that happened to him constantly replaying in his mind?  I know its so hard to separate what happened to you from the rest of your life, but I cant imagine that when its your own MOM.  I cant believe this is my reality and my mother is accused of this?  Also, can you imagine finding out your spouse of 30 years, has done this to your son?  I don't know that I would be able to stop myself from severely hurting someone if they did that to my child, even if it was my spouse of 30 years!
  I stress and worry about my brother on a daily basis.  He has been watched for suicide multiple times, so that is always a worry in my mind.  He knows my younger sister, my Dad, and I all support him.  He decided to proceed with pressing charges (well now its up to the DA) and he gave his interview.  I'm hoping once all of the legal proceedings take place and its over with, he can finally dig himself out of this rut and search for the light that I know is at the end of his tunnel!