Now that you are up to date on the details of my life, I would like to get into my relationship with my older sister. I was never super close with my older sister. We always got along, rarely fought or argued. But we were just so different in a lot of ways. I felt she wasn't ever really capable of showing most emotions, especially compassion and empathy, which is why I never really went to her with my problems. We also have different parenting views and her relationship with her husband is like nothing I have seen before. I moved away from my sister when I was 14, so just that changed our relationship. She was never understanding about the abuse I had endured, so we didn't discuss it much. About 6 years ago or so, she started having some issues and being very depressed. She has always been angry. She started making extremely lousy choices as a parent and wife. But being her sister, I stood by her side. I didn't understand how she could make those choices, I still do not to this day. How could you ever be to a point where you no longer wanted to be a mother? But, I love her and she is my sister and if she had given me the opportunity, I would still be by her side today. She got back on the straight and narrow and everything was good again for the next couple years.
My relationship with her began to unravel after my parents separated and were getting a divorce. We chose to still have a relationship with my Dad and his now girlfriend. She didn't agree with our choice and gave us (my younger sister and I) an ultimatum. If we chose to have them in our lives, she would no longer allow us in hers, or her children's. I was devastated :( How does me letting my kids have a relationship with their grandpa, have anything to do with my relationship with her? I chose to still have my dad in my life, so she basically disowned me at this point. She stopped sending cards for my kids birthdays or calling them, and deleted me from facebook. I was so hurt! I hadn't actually done anything to be the one getting punished.
My sister from the first moment all the drama started with the divorce, would send my dad and his girlfriend very harassing text and facebook messages. Which as far as I know, still continues two years later. My sister no longer speaks to me, my younger sister, my younger brother or my dad. And that's just immediate family she has done this to. If the things you do aren't her way, then she says goodbye. Without blinking twice or shedding any emotion over it. I just don't understand how you can be so emotionless and not care about the things you do to your family, spouse, and kids.
My sisters husband turned to me a few years back when she started making lousy decisions. I was there for every phone call and anything he needed. My sister in the last year, started being unsure again and making lousy decisions. It was recently brought to my attention that she attempted to kiss or be with a knowingly married man, while she herself is still married. And ended up being physically assaulted because of it. I was appalled! It was the same thing she was not speaking to me over regarding my parents marriage, but yet it was OK for her to do it. She always claimed what she did or was doing, wasn't the same as my dad because she was honest with her husband about it. So I messaged my brother in law to check in on him, figuring he was hurt and embarrassed. Turns out he didn't know, so at that point chose to disclose what I had heard. I wasn't making this stuff up, just the messenger. I apologized to him and that was the end of the conversation. That night my sister texted me, she had found out that her hubby and I had talked. Somehow I was the bad guy in all of this, she told me not to ever contact her, her kids, or her hubby again. She called me a stupid bitch and acted like I was the one in the wrong here. OK, that is my sister.....but I did not agree with her choices and thought her husband after 13 years of marriage, deserved to know the truth. The whole town was talking about it and talking badly about her, her hubby just didn't know the truth at that point yet. We haven't spoke since and my bro in law isn't speaking to me either now.
I think the most hurtful thing of this whole situation, is that she could just drop my kids and forget them like they are yesterdays garbage. They haven't done anything to her and they don't understand why they cant see their cousins or don't get birthday cards anymore. I'm also extremely hurt that I cant be there for my nieces and nephews. I have been there for them from day one, sometimes when nobody else, besides their parents, were. Unfortunately after everything that's been said and done, I don't think our relationship is repairable. I do believe she has a lot of underlying reasons for being the way she is. I know she would benefit greatly from counseling as I have suggested it many times. I'm at a loss of what to do anymore, and decided that I'm not gonna put up anymore with people disrespecting and treating me badly when I have done nothing to them. So as of right now, I do not speak to my older sister or my mom. Now that you understand my struggles with my sister, I want to get into my mom. Not only our relationship, but just her in general. Hang on to your hats folks, its about to become an extremely bumpy ride...
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