Always A Work In Progress

  I struggle with not being the way my parents were.  I saw so many things that I would take mental note of, I didn't want to be that way to my kids or in my relationship.  I didn't want to invalidate any ones feelings, put others down, be selfish.  I wanted the best relationship possible with my kids and hubby.  I didn't want to argue in front of the children and wanted to show them what a loving marriage should be like.  I have a temper that I would say comes from my dads side.  I remember growing up it was either he was happy and talking calmly or he was yelling and cursing.  No real in between.  But I'm determined to take control, and I'm learning :)  I also saw my parents argue and fight on a regular basis and it was awkward.  That's one thing I'm completely blessed with, is a loving respectful relationship with my hubby.  Yes we disagree and fight, but we never put each other down or call each other names.  And if we start an argument in front of the kids, we always try to take it in the other room, or wait until they leave the room to continue. 
  How do I explain to my children, that there grandma is in prison and why?  Obviously I know only age appropriate, but the day will come when they wont let me beat around the bush and they are going to want answers.  They have already dealt with so much change, just makes my heart ache.  And my poor hubby, can you imagine marrying someone and being brought into this dysfunction?  I feel so bad for him, but we lucked out with his family!  He takes it all in stride and I'm so grateful.
  When I moved away from Montana, it ended up being beneficial because after my secrets came out, a lot of people blamed me and thought I made it up.  So I dealt with threats, stares, and people pointing and talking.  They knew it was me, even though the papers didn't say my name.  Now I have to deal with it all again, except the stigma that my mom will now have.  Not only up in Montana, but here.  It all happened here and she will be on the news I'm sure here.  I feel sorry for everyone on my dads side that now has to be associated with my mom (since she still has my dads last name).
  Now that my secrets are out, I'm hoping whatever happens legally with my Mom, just happens already.  Sick of waiting and wondering whats going to happen next...

A song that Im enjoying
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFM&list=PL93E8F36D8C152F3A

Also here is the link to the only article still available in archives about my offender:
http://www.laureloutlook.com/news/article_0198ad37-de8e-567d-a2de-67613f9212fb.html