Still Missing My Sister

  I still miss my sister.  I know that I didn't get the shoulder to cry on relationship, like I do have with my younger sister.  But I still was close to her and we always had a good time together.  Since she told me to never contact them, yet again, I have given her some space.  However, about four months ago, I did text her again, in hopes of trying to work on things.  She had the same things to say to me, as she has the last two years.  She did tell me she would probably never forgive me for the things I said, I am still not sure what she means by that.  I was not rude or mean, I did however tell it like it was without being any of those things.  I apologized, when I didn't necessarily need to, willing to put my pride aside to fix it.  But to her, it wasn't enough and didn't make any difference.
  I am constantly questioning on what to do with that situation.  In my opinion, family is everything, and you do no give up on them.  But then the part of me that wants to protect my feelings says, prepare yourself for the rest of your life without having a relationship with your sister.  Unfortunately I think the latter one, is the one that will ring true.  She is blind to reality and the way she really is.  She criticizes and judges people for the things she does also.  She doesn't say the wrong that she is in and won't get help.  Until she does those things, I know, that a relationship will never be successful.
  I have heard from her two daughters a few times, when they sneak in a text to me.  I have to admit, I love it, even though it is going against her wishes.  I hate that they have to be secretive though, and I never ask them to contact me, because I don't want them to feel like they have to go against what they are told.  But I NEVER tell them to not contact me!  I hate the time I am missing out on in their lives!  The most recent texts from them said that their parents were getting divorced.  I was honestly a little surprised, they had issues for years, but I still didn't know if it would have ever came to that.  I think it is best for everyone unfortunately and I hope they both find happiness.  I consoled them the best I could, two states away.  Evidently my sister found out they were talking to me and I haven't heard from them since :(
  Things with my brother have been up and down the last nine months.  He is finally at a great place now, working and wanting to better his future.  I try to keep him motivated and be there for him.  I just really hope he continues this way.  Things did get worse, before they got better.  He was in trouble with the law some more, in the hospital again, and struggling there for awhile.  It was great to spend some time with him at Christmas.  I have realized with this situation, that there is only so much I can do.  I have a family of my own that is my priority and trying to push someone who didn't want helped, to let me help, was an uphill battle.  As long as he lets me help him, I will.  But there is only so much this one person can do, given all that.  I can steer him in the right direction, but only he can choose his path!