How does a girl, so naive, process all of this? I had an idea of what sex was, but no idea about the other things involved. I just didn't get it. He had a wife, a family. The next day, we made the move. I was so nervous to start school and attempt to make new friends. Who would want to be friends with someone like me? I consistantly always blamed myself, probably more than I did the man. Why did I get in the car and allow this? I was already suffering from depression at this point, and the anxiety started to kick in. I was disgusted by myself, more now then ever. I started throwing up my food after I would eat it, thinking in some weird way, that it would make the self loathing disappear. I started getting severe panic attacks, sometimes requiring medical attention. There was nobody I could talk to about it, thats not something you just come out and say the first time you have a conversation with somebody. The one friend that I confided in, was over 500 miles away, and our relationship was deteriorating. It soon would be, that her and I were no longer friends. She was one of my best friends, and that was another huge loss for me. I sometimes ate lunch alone, in the bathroom stalls at school.
One day, probably about a month or two after we moved, I got an email from the man. Requesting to meet in person the next time I was in town, he said he owed me an apology for the things that transpired. Was this real or another ploy to take advantage of me? As I read the email, my dad entered the room. I quickly exited the email, as not to let him see. Not realizing how suspicious I looked. My dad knew something was up, had me leave the room, and read the email. He immediately knew something inapproproate had happened and was beyond furiou! I denied, how could I find the courage to tell him these things?My mom then tried, and I continued to deny. The next day at school, she searched my room, and found my journal. She read it, which again was nothing new. Her being so nosy and reading the letters I recieved in the mail before this, was part of the reason I had lost one of my best friends. The secret was out! I didnt expose all the details, I couldnt even bring myself to write them in my journal. I gave as limited details as I could get away with. And the legal battle began.
I was interviewed by detectives in Fort Lupton, alone. Scared, ashamed, and humiliated. They then relayed to the Laurel Police Department. I also was called into the Laurel Police Department, to be interviewed by Yellowstone County Sheriffs. I was interviewed by my lawyer. And lastly, my lawyer, his lawyer, and the DA from Montana, flew to Denver, and I was interviewed by his lawyer....alone. His lawyer tore me apart, claiming it was consentual and making me feel even more to blame. I never disclosed all of the details, I just could never bring myself to do it. It never went to trial, so I never had to testify in court. That is where my part of the lawsuit ended.
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