The End

  I'm back to trying to figure everything out, what I should try next.  There is just so much up in the air!  I have already opened the therapy door, and dug up all of these old emotions, so until I get through these EMDR sessions, I'm going to be knee deep in all of these emotions.  The new therapist I wanted to try isn't accepting new patients, so now I'm researching different ones.  Getting in and doing that is going to be one of the only things that help me re-process this, and move forward.  Until that's complete, I cant expect to "get better".  Do I like being stuck here, no.  Do I wanna feel it all again, no.  And contrary to popular belief, I don't disclose everything that is contributing to being stuck and why I am feeling this way, out of respect for the other people in my life.  
  This will be my last blog entry.  I feel like I am over being so honest, putting all my emotions out there for all to see and judge.  I don't know who reads this because they genuinely care, or who wants to be nosy and gossip.  This outlet has been a crazy experience for me.  It required me to be brutally honest, which helped me have some closure in some aspects, but has also caused me anxiety and stress because I don't know what people think when they read it.
  I hope that my honesty helped save one person, a child from being abused, helped someone get through a tough day or was relatable to anyone, because that's all I wanted!  All of you helped me get through a tough time by taking time to read my story!  Thank you!  Until I see you again :)

  Nikki Tracy-SURVIVOR!!